Forget Everything, Watch Kimmy Dora

It's been my first time to watch a local movie in theaters after a few years. Not that I don't watch Filipino movies on TV too, because I still do if we still have Cinema One in our cable TV. Unfortunately, our cable provider gives us PBO which showcases mostly bad Pinoy movies. I rarely watch local movies in theaters because ohmigod the sounds are monaural and ohmigod the voices are dubbed. A film should boast exemplary surround sound to be seen in theaters, right?

If ever I'll see a local movie, there might be a great reason for me to watch it. Eugene Domingo is one of those reason for me to watch Kimmy Dora. It's her first starring role and I'm insanely waiting for this.

Kimmy Dora, like other Pinoy movies, still has its flaws. Like the ohmigod dubbing and ohmigod why aren't they using surround sound technology. There are unnecessary CGI's and an ending that is oh so annoying that must be removed. There's nothing spectacular in the plot. It's very basic but fun.

This film is not about surround sounds, flawed plots or wasted expenses on CGI's. Kimmy Dora is about real talent, and that is Eugene Domingo. Watching her making fool of herself and acting like a woman with a bipolar disorder is superb. I had tons of laugh. Unlike other comedy movies that will give me a few seconds of laugh and thats it, Kimmy Dora is different. I could have a heart attack or choke myself from laughing. There's that part I had a hard time breathing because I was insanely laughing in the cinema. Kimmy Dora is orgasmic indeed.

Forget the formulaic direction, the dubbed dialogues, the monaural sounds and predictable screenplay. Just see Eugene Domingo and her looney antics and you'll forget who you are with leaving the theater.

Ratings:

• Entertainment: 5 out of 5 stars
  
• Plot: 3 out of 5 stars
• Intelligence: 2 out of 5 stars

Prawns are Aliens!

District 9 is one helluva fresh alien movie. Aliens here are not as adorable as Steven Spielberg's E.T. nor a battling robotic lifeforms from outer space nor energy forms to save the human beings. They're like 6-foot tall walking and talking prawns. If you like eating shrimps and the likes, you should be ashamed of yourself after watching District 9.

In the Philippines, a hipon (shrimp) is a euphemism for a fugly-faced hot bod – you eat the flesh but trash the head

With alien movies, I expect gore. I fear that everytime a human had a contact with a "prawn", the aliens would just decapitate and obliterate humans with their awesome weapons. There are still those kind of gore but not too much like in Aliens and Starship Troopers. In District 9, I'm siding with these gigantic ugly malnourished shrimp-looking aliens over humans or that puppy-eyed Kokey.

I'm actually more afraid of Kokey than with prawns, seriously

The movie is great. It's like a mixture of different alien movies where there is gore, action and mushiness of E.T. It's a thrilling rollercoaster ride of "ooh", "wow", "eww", "woah" and "aww". After watching District 9, it stopped me from eating that Wendy's Shrimp Sandwich. Prawns have feelings too. Thank you Peter Jackson and Director Neill Blomkamp for that realization.

I can keep on yakking how great District 9 is and spill some spoilers here. Or watch it for yourself.


Ratings:

• Visuals: 5 out of 5 stars
• Intellect: 5 out of 5 stars
• Plot: 5 out of 5 stars

Battlefield Heroes… enough to keep me busy

I always wanted to play an online game that doesn’t give too much toll on my computer hardware. I want it no more than 2 GB, doesn’t need a high-end videocard to play it and doesn’t require a big RAM. Something I can play with my laptop which is not that powerful.

I’ve read a plurk from Jayvee and tried Battlefield Heroes on my laptop. Battlefield Heroes is an online first-person shooter game from the Battlefield series. It’s free to download, free-to-play and distributed by Electronic Arts. All you need to do is signup for an EA account, install the browser plugin/game launcher and play it.

The graphics for Battlefield Heroes is cartoony, which is very different from the Battlefield series. There’s not much details (or maybe I’m just playing it at the lowest setting for the graphics) since it’s an online game. The only downside of Battlefield Heroes for me, it doesn’t have a stand-alone game launcher. I have to open my browser to launch the game. Since it’s still in open beta, players will still experience downtime with servers. Players can’t choose the servers because the game does the matchmaking for them. Avatars are not that customizable, but they’re appearance can be modified by their clothings which are only limited from a week to a month usage. There are also items in store that can be used for unlimited duration but it requires Battlefunds to purchase it; real cash.

It’s fun to play and has features to keep the player busy aside from shooting and killing other Heroes. Be it for customizing your own heroes, achieving missions or plainly doing some player-kills. It kept me busy alright. I haven’t updated this blog regularly since I started playing this game.

Register and download the game at www.battlefieldheroes.com.

Transformers 2: So Insane, IT ROCKS!

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen has been receiving bad reviews from big critics since the first day it was shown. I didn’t give a damn on their reviews because I loved the movie, I watched it twice. If there’s a word to describe it, it’s INSANE.

If you watch Michael Bay movies, you’ll know how explosive the movie can get. This one has a lot of it. ROTF begins 2 years after the battle in Transformers 1. Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) is entering college and have to leave her hot girlfriend, Mikaela (Megan Fox) and Bamblebee at home. But the thought that they can get back to their normal life is immediately broken after a warning that the Fallen is coming.

From start, the film is already crazy. Ginormous decepticons, cool new autobots, little transformers, quarreling crazy parents, humping dogs and wherever you look is already catastrophic. Then at the middle, the main players are battling, car chases, fake humans, explosions, foxy Megan Fox, screaming Shia. I can go on and on until I spoil everything here, so I’ll shut up and end this review.

Optimus Prime is the newest Chuck Norris!

But no, I will not stop yakking! Transformers 2 is a movie that’s like every scene is a climax and the only time you rest your eyes is when you look at Megan Fox to admire her. I laughed with every witty lines they dropped, from the ghetto twin robots to the cracked parents. The lead characters here are the Transformers and the actors here are merely supporting roles. What’s even great with this film, you don’t have to be smart to watch this. All you have to do is sit back and feel that you’re in the warzone.

Megan Fox, what a relief.

The plot is predictable and that what pisses off the major critics. But for me, that’s what I sometimes look for in a movie. I get the most of the entertainment factor than thinking of what’s coming next. That’s what movie should be on the first place. Michael Bay did what he do best, make use of all the elements for a great movie and forget what others say. That’s the real artist. From sounds to visuals, everything is remarkable. What Bay did here is to make the audience feel that they are part of the movie. Entertainment factor is over the top and I can watch it over and over again because I don’t need a brain to see it. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is all about movie experience.

If you want to experience war, you better see this.

Ratings:

• Visuals: 5 out of 5 stars
• Intellect: 3 out of 5 stars
• Plot: 3 out of 5 stars

Blood sucks? Not really.

The first time I saw the full trailer of Blood: The Last Vampire (Live Action) I knew already that it would be crappy. You know why? It was too flashy for a trailer. Most shitty movies usually put all their best clips in a more than a minute cinematic trailer (like cheap slasher movies and most of our mainstream local movies) and you will realize that the whole movie is already in the trailer. But I think I judged the film too much on the trailer.

Blood: The Last Vampire is an adaptation of an animé of the same title. The film features Saya, a half human-half vampire who hunts other full-blood vampires. She’s like Blade, a daywalker, not a vegetarian, doesn’t glitter like Edward Cullen and she’s Japanese (played by Gianna Jun, a Korean). Saya is a tough kickass vampire with her samurai which Edward Cullen can’t do because she only kill girls with his looks and bad hairdo.

The movie is a one big mess. How will you make a 40-minute animé into a full-length 2-hour live-action film? It’s this way. Let’s stick how it began and ended in the animation and tweak it a little bit. Now, you already made a 50-minute film. No, it won’t make the cut. Let’s change the characters a bit, the setting, and add what-happened-in-between-to-make-the-movie-more-understandable parts. Yay, you now have a 1-hour movie… which is good for TV release only. Let’s add the tale of her origins; who taught her to fight, did she fell in love, whatever. Hurrah, you made an 80-minute film! You’re close. Add slow-motions to the fight scenes and add all the unnecessary visual effects to make it longer. Then, you watch it and you’re assistant said, “Sir, I think we only made a mess”. But you as the filmmaker spoke in firm tone, “Just serve it to them, we don’t have budget left.”

I don’t say the movie is totally bad. It’s just messy. CGI-bloodspills during the fight scenes are really unnecessary. It’s like 300, you can see the blood spilling everywhere but you won’t see the characters get stained. Yes, the CGI is bad, really bad. The CGI monsters are also awfully done. I know that monsters are supposed to be ugly, but not plainly ugly.

So far, what I like in the movie are the fight sequences. The fights are really amazing (without the ugly CGI bloodspills). Imagine Saya, our half-vampire heroine against hundreds of vampires and her foster father against dozens of ninjas coming out of nowhere. The plot is half-baked and if developed, it could have been great.

Overall, I underestimated the film too much. It’s not bad. It’s just a mess, but if they’ve reduced and put things in the right place it would be better.

Ratings:

• Visuals: 2 out of 5 stars
• Intellect: 3 out of 5 stars
• Plot: 3 out of 5 stars